dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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