butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
