Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
