girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize