Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
