The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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