So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
