Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Randomize
