Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
