I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
