i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize