I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
