you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
