I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
