You smell like a Billy Joel song
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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