I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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