How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
