We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
