Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
