Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
