I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize