I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
