She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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