He uses pillows to masturbate.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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