that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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