WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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