I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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