He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize