That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
