I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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