Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
