I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
