There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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