After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
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