I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
