Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
