i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
