Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
