i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
