If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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