Pappa wants mamma naked
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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