he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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