Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
