bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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