There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
