I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
