At least make sure they are 18
Why
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
