yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
