I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
