I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
