marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
