She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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