even my farts smell like vagina
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
