even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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