dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
