I accidentally had phone sex last night
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize