So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I've blown a few things in my day
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
