God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
